Kirsty Sword Gusmao's Eyewitness Account of East Timor's Descent Into Chaos
The Australian Women's Weekly
Issue cover dated July 1, 2006

Kirsty Sword Gusmao, the Australian-born wife of East Timor President Xanana Gusmao, gives a first-hand account of her adopted country's descent into chaos.

I never thought I'd see this kind of turmoil and violence in East Timor again - terrified families fleeing with their meager possessions, homes burning, the looting, beatings and killings.

It's heartbreaking. You can't rationalise events such as the murder of a mother and three children, who were burned alive in their home because she was a relative of a government minister. That mother died cradling her youngest child in her arms.

I feel so deeply disappointed that four years into independence, a process which was held up to the world as a success story has come crumbling down. And I'm angry, because it didn't need to happen.

Worst of all is witnessing 100,000 people, in fear of returning home, living in refugee camps around Dili in terrible conditions. Probably the worst is the Obrigado Barracks, where 4000 men, women and children are without adequate food or shelter, sleeping under tarpaulins rigged up against fences. They've received deliveries of rice, but with no firewood, they've no means to prepare food for their families.

Health problems such as coughs, colds, fever, malaria and gastro-intestinal infections, particularly in children, are evident in the camps. Some people have been living in these conditions for more than a month. It's a humanitarian tragedy.

As First Lady, I feel so powerless. I went to five of the camps on June 5 to distribute fruit and vegetables that Xanana had organized from the countryside, but it's the tip of the iceberg in terms of what's required to sustain people.

Many people were calling out in anger and despair, saying, "We've lost confidence in our leaders. We want to go home, we don't want to suffer any more, we want peace. Please tell them that."My heart goes out to them because they don't deserve this, particularly the women and children, who have a hard enough life in normal circumstances, just to survive and meet their basic needs. It's tragic to see them cowed by fear, yet again, and having to struggle to keep their children alive. It's distressing to know that even teenagers have been involved in looting the homes of their neighbours."

When my own children heard gunfire and grenades on May 25 and 26, it was hard to know how to handle it because I didn't want to scare them.

Alex, six, Kay Olok, four, and Daniel, 18 months, can't understand the complexities, naturally. Their questions are in simple terms - are they good guys or bad guys?

As their mother, it's important that I try to keep things on an even keel, maintaining the normal rhythms around them, while trying to maintain my equilibrium as well.

Security has been boosted around our home. There are between 30 and 40 police on duty, all of whom we have to feed. In addition to his East Timorese bodyguards, Xanana has Australian soldiers guarding him and Black Hawk helicopters have been flying overhead.

Xanana is resilient, but this is probably the hardest battle he's ever waged. He's shattered. He's shed many tears, publicly and privately, and he's been very angry, obviously, especially at the height of the violence. He's been through trials before, but this is different because the enemy is not the Indonesian army of occupation, but forces within East Timor itself.

The night that he signed the papers authorising international troops,I could still hear sporadic gunfire. I was just getting the kids to bed when the convoy of vehicles arrived, carrying the Australian and New Zealand ambassadors, Foreign Minister Jose Ramos Horta and assorted Australian Defence Force officers. Xanana had tears running down his cheeks as he put his signature to the papers, reflecting his sadness at how bad everything had turned and the tragic consequences for people. It was devastating to acknowledge that East Timor needed international help to solve its problems. At the same time, everyone's extremely grateful that the peacekeepers are here.

Initially, I felt confusion and despair, but that quickly gave way to anger. It's only a couple of months ago that the chain of events was set in motion, when the government sacked almost half the defence force, the 600 striking soldiers known as the Petitioners. On the surface, their grievances were legitimate - they deserved attention, consideration and resolution. One of the issues was that most of the army bases are in the east and it's difficult for soldiers from the west to afford to visit their families, but the real problem was the lack of a code of conduct and regulations within the defence force, which would have nipped this in the bud.

Decisions taken by the government following on from that had the effect of creating direct conflict between the military and the police. The decision to bring in the armed forces to quell the demonstration outside the government offices on April 28 was a bad one, given the armed forces were, themselves, at the heart of the problem. This led to the defection of the military police, who didn't agree with the response of the armed forces. So then you have the army pitted against the police, with shootouts on the streets involving two institutions created to defend the people, and the disintegration of civil order. Into the vacuum came the machete-wielding gangs.

The gang violence is difficult to explain and comprehend, but it's important for people in Australia to realise that it hasn't been spontaneous. Once it's investigated by an international commission of inquiry, evidence will show that the worst of the violence has been provoked. It's come about as a result of the failure of the political process and manipulation by a small group within the political elite.

I can't even say it's a conspiracy right across the governing party, Fretilin, but what's been guiding the actions of certain senior members of the government is not what's in the interests of the country, but what's in the best interests of the party.

It's not for me to say whether the prime minister (Mari Alkatiri) should resign. The only hope is that he's honest with himself and with the people about the root causes of this crisis.

It's Xanana's worst nightmare coming true ... he'd been warning the government for months of a looming problem and counselling them to take serious measures to address the grievances of the Petitioners, but wasn't heeded. As president, he has limited power within the Constitution. He can be a voice of reason, a figure of moral authority, but he has no real power.

For now, I'm living minute to minute, not planning, trying to get back to the office, trying to organise staff as they trickle back to work.

Three of my staff at the Alola Foundation have had their homes burned.

Much of government isn't operating. Schools are closed. A few little markets that were burned down are starting to re-emerge - a sign of resilience, of hope and also of necessity.

It's hard to predict when people will feel confident to return to their homes and resume some kind of normal life.
It depends on how things play out at the political level. The rebel soldiers refuse to surrender and begin the reconciliation process Xanana is calling for until the prime minister resigns.

While this crisis is devastating, I don't see it as the end of the road. The presence of international forces has helped abate the worst of the violence. I can still see houses burning around my office at Alola and evidence of arms in the hands of civilians. It's worrying.

Yet perhaps because every day I meet people who are committed to the future and are positive, I'm not awash with doom and gloom.

Ultimately, it's about how people are able to recover from this and move on: that's what will determine Timor's future. And they will recover from this, as they've recovered before.

I'm still hopeful my children will be able to go back to school in the next few months and that life can be put back on track for them and for all Timorese. The East Timorese are a peace-loving people who want the best for their country.
For my husband, who feels everything so deeply, another crisis does extract a toll, but how many tolls his whole life has extracted! His life has been a series of horrific blows, each followed by an almost miraculous recovery. In that, he has a lot in common with his people.

It sounds trite, but when your whole life has been a struggle, you take this kind of thing in your stride.
I have asked myself: where have we come to? This is a test, a very big test. But I don't think we've lost the faith and trust of our friends in Australia, and we can count on people being there for us.

- As told to Tracey Curro in the July issue of Australian Women’s Weekly

- The Alola Foundation works for the advancement of women in East
Timor. Visit www.alolafoundation.org